The strange sense of feeling Home.

In my younger years, my family was forced to move a lot from houses due to all kinds of problems like money issues. Because of this, we had to move to a different house every once per two years or so? It is hard to recall the exact dates. But now being older, that period had left me some scars…

Even though I was lucky enough that I was able to finish my primary school at the same school. But my sister had to switch multiple times from primary school. I can’t speak for her, but I know it was hard making friends at that time. Also living in a new neighbourhood over, again and again, makes it difficult to make new friends.

Not only making friends were becoming hard for me, but I seem to begin having trouble with feeling at home. Even though my family lived with me between these walls, what they called a house, I never felt at ease. All my stuff was mostly packed out and I gave it a place in my assigned room. But it never fit and felt right. In my mind, I always knew it was another temporary home…

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– I don’t have many pictures from that time.
But this is one to have an image how I felt and looked…
It is weird to see me likes this again.. I think I was 15 years or so? –

At the age of 15, my family and I were talking with Youth Services. I was feeling very unhappy and living with my parents was too hard for me. Eventually, I was taken into care by Youth Services and I had to move away from my parents. I lived in a house with other teenagers who also weren’t able to live with their parents. Here we had to learn how to care for ourselves, like learning how to cook or to clean. How we have to do the taxes and how much money we can spend on groceries and other stuff. We also had weekly sessions with a psychologist. Being here felt like a relief for me. I had time and space to address my problems with things like drugs and depression. And I was on the road to recovery. I started to become independent and that felt good for me! Even though I have been through a rough patch, I felt much stronger and more secure about myself. I have dealt with most of my problems and I feel at peace and balanced in life.

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 – In this picture, I was 17 / maybe 18 years old. –

I lived in this sort of shelter home till I turned 18 years. After that, I moved into a student room in Utrecht for my previous study Leisure & Events. I switched a few time to move into a bigger room in Utrecht. This way I could live closer to my University for my current study Human Resource Management.

In Utrecht, I met my love: Jeen and after three years of being together, we moved in together since January this year! This is the first house where we could change everything how we like it. To create our own style and learn how everything really works when you buy your own house.

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I am writing this blog in our lovely apartment. Sitting at my desk, drinking coffee in the morning and I can see the pond outside with a lot of trees around it. Birds are flying everywhere near the water and it feels so peacefully being here. And even though I just live here for just a half a year, I have this strange sense of finally feeling Home.

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This a different kind of blog, more personal than my other blog posts. But it felt like something that I wanted to write about. It feels weird to open up old memories like these. Especially when I was looking for pictures from that time! Unfortunately, I don’t have pictures from my previous houses or other meaningful stuff, so I uploaded these photo’s of me from that time period… 😛

 

Gwendolyn.

 

 

 

 

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